The word itself is short, small and, well….ugly.
This morning my six-year old used it in a way that broke my heart.
We were desperately trying to locate the “right” shirt for school today when she informed me that it must be pink. None of the shirts I chose were “right” so she happily picked herself a pink, short-sleeved shirt with a fake attached collar.
Success! (Fully knowing that I had already given my six-year old the power that morning more times than I’d care to admit.) Now she demanded that I wait there while she changed and that I should not finish cleaning up our breakfast mess. Six-year old future polition- she knows how to lead! (Or is it manipulate?)
Stomping. Whining. Stomping. “It’s not right. I don’t like the collar. I want it off.”
Fine. Off comes the shirt. Back to the closet. It MUST be pink.
She chooses another and puts it over her head.
She makes a sad face.
“What’s the matter, honey?”
“I think my friends will think it’s ugly.”
“Ugly? Why would they say that? If you love it I’m sure they will love it, too.”
As I debated about getting philosophical on her and have the conversation about how it is O.K. if everyone does not like what you wear or how you look, I realized that there was a bigger lesson in this.
When did she first decide that she could possibly be not liked or made fun of for what she wore. She has only been in public school for just over a month. Is it her age? T.V.? We don’t have cable but we do have lots of movies. Friends, family influences, ME?
Could I have sent her the message in some unsuspecting way? Did I allow media to help form her self-image? Is it just a part of life?
I’m sure this doesn’t seem like a very big deal to most, but I’m looking at the big picture. I know myself and many others in life have accepted messages about who we “should” be or what our worth and success “should” be defined by.
These messages have directed choices everyday of our lives and have created the person we are today.
Each of us is perfect, enough and of worth just as we are right now.
BUT, we don’t believe it because most of us have been conditioned to believe that we are less than for one reason or another.
What is the automatic playlist playing in your brain and heart about who you are?
Do you love yourself? Do you appreciate your body for what it CAN do? Do you value your own opinions or seek approval from others consistently? Do you measure your success by the things you have around you or by the spirit that is in you?
Have you been playing the same storyline out over and over in your life and receiving the same results?
Fear is in control of your actions not you.
Fear is often resistance to something that when left unchecked, becomes the ruler and supreme director of every unintentional choice you make. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “What we resists, persists.” It’s true, I’ve gone through it in every area of my life.
Most of us don’t see the repeated storylines in our lives as fear, but I believe if you outline the frustrating repeats in your life backwards you will come to see the original message you told yourself or received from another, was based in fear.
When you acknowledge the fear and find the root of where it came from, you can begin to heal that area of life and stop replaying the same tune.
I’ve felt the delicious taste of healing and wish for you the same. You won’t wake up one day with everything perfect and glowing. But you will be ready for growth in a new area as more and more layers of crusty clay are removed to uncover the radiant masterpiece that you already are.
As for my six-year old…I’m going to share with her that ugly is a Four-Letter Word and that her unique spirit beyond words!
What storyline is on repeat in your life?
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