F.E.A.R.-Forget Everything And Run. That’s what fear does to us. I know it did me and still does at times. We forget everything and run. We run from the truth. We pretend we’re being realistic. We play safe. We don’t connect authentically. We stay small instead of illuminating and sharing the beauty of our spirit.

There are two types of fear.

The healthy fear is the one that drives you to teach your eighteen month old that the stove is hot or not to run in a parking lot.

Then there is the unhealthy fear. This is the kind that keeps you paralyzed from ever making a decision and stuck. The kind that keeps you worrying about something you have no control over. This kind can make you ill, miserable and keep you stuck in the middle of that ocean, never reaching shore. It’s those A.N.T.S (automatic negative thoughts) or that voice of D.E.N.I.A.L (don’t even notice I am lying) that keep you on the hamster wheel. These are all fear based behaviors.

We are often just one thought away from devastation or pure joy. I started life with the glass is half-full perspective. Then I married young and had my spirit verbally beat down almost every day. My choices became based in fear. I was the queen of worry. What if no one liked me? What if I wasn’t nice enough? What if I actually disagreed? What if the chicken actually crossed the road? What if X,Y and Z happen? I was “what-if-ing” myself almost to death. I was quietly living a fear-based life, stuck in a prison with bars I had cemented in myself. Fear controlled my choices.

Second, beautiful, healthy marriage later, I felt like because I wasn’t complaining like others were about their husbands I couldn’t be myself. I couldn’t freely bask in the joy of an amazing relationship. To feel the camaraderie of girlfriends I felt I needed to gripe like them. Most of the time I would listen and stay quiet. Once in a while I tried it. Not about my current husband because I had vowed to respect and honor that sacred relationship and honestly, there wasn’t anything to gripe about. So,  I found any energy vampire I could  gripe about/share. But as the words were coming out of my mouth a heaviness laid over me. It didn’t feel right. Again, I was making choices based in fear.

It’s when I finally gave up on needing to be liked and embraced my happiness that I learned to fully love myself and my glass is half-full attitude. Now I experience a mental freedom like no other! I stopped basing my choices in fear. Am I perfect? Not by a long shot. But emotionally I am light years away from where I was.

Changing my thinking saved my life. The ripple effect can radiate through generations. That is my purpose now. To help others embrace and integrate back every part of themselves so that we can elevate this amazing planet.

Bust yourself and ask which fear your choices are being made from -healthy fear or unhealthy fear. Ask yourself why and if the opportunity cost is worth it. What are you trading to stay stuck in your fears? What would it feel like to be free?