You Are Already Free

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

This sucks!

Why do I have to do this?

I can’t wait for this to change!

I just wish I was free from all of this crap!

Have you ever thought or said out loud any of these unsavory phrases?

I have.

I have gone down that rabbit hole.

Smiling on the outside and yet yearning and wishing for things to

BE different

FEEL different.

How far do you let yourself go down that rabbit hole?

It can be pretty enticing and you may even find support for your adventure with others who enjoy going down their own rabbit holes.

Dark talk. Negative feelings. Heavy energy.

It’s true that sometimes we must swirl around in the muck before we are transformed; before we reach a higher level of awareness or self-love that becomes a game changer. How long you allow yourself to swirl is your responsibility.

All of the choices you have made, from the moment you got up this morning to the moment that has you sitting in front of your computer reading this blog define what your tomorrow may look like. What you choose to do today or not do today becomes what you have or do not have tomorrow.

Sounds obvious and even a bit simplistic, but it is truth. You are creating the framework for your tomorrows right now.

If you want freedom from whatever it is that you feel is keeping you trapped, you must do something different that what you have been doing. Blaming others will keep you stuck.

1. Start looking at all the ways that you are already free. I could give you a list but you will feel much more empowered by taking ten minutes and writing them down for yourself. Recognize what you choose everyday, every moment. Once you start, you will soon realize how much freedom you have.

2. Acknowledge your response to those situations you wish you could change. Are there areas of your life experience that you want to change? Write them down and acknowledge them. Notice how you respond during those situations you wish were different. Don’t simply wish for change. Become aware and choose change. If it hasn’t changed on its own by now it will take intentional action on your part and it is possible. Keep striving.

3. Remember that you are free to choose a different response. You are not your past. You are not your dysfunctional family. You are who you choose to be in every waking minute and that can be vastly different from genetics or habits from the past. Start with one habitual response and focus on that until you have that positive change become a part of who you are. Then, move forward with the next one. Ask for help if you need it. Rome wasn’t built in a day, cut yourself some slack, breathe and intentionally build smart.

4. Give Thanks. Every day in every moment. Acknowledge all that you have and all that you are. If you are breathing, have a roof over your head, a warm shower and a computer to read this on, you have much more than most people in the world. Give thanks. You are, I believe, a child of God. You are spirit having a human experience. You are more than this physical body. You are spirit with infinite, sacred worth. Allow this to remove the fears you may life your life by. Offer a prayer of gratitude for those who help you in your daily life. Say a prayer of thanks for the bus driver that took you to work today, the store checker that has to work on Thanksgiving and the service members that are away from their families so you can be with yours.  Give thanks that you have freedom of choice everyday.

You are already free. Say no to living on autopilot. Own your freedom.

Ready for Change?

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , ,

You are not your past.
Your roots do not have to define you!

Have you ever wondered why you keep going out with the same “type” of guy or girl when you keep trying to find someone different to share your life with?

Do you find yourself angry at everyone around you and wonder why they won’t change?

Are you well aware of repeating patterns in your life that you swear at least once a week you will change and yet, here you are again, making the same choices you promised yourself you would do differently?

Habits are not something that just happen. Often they are rooted in seemingly non-related events from our past and in order to change the future, it helps to get at the root of why you are doing what you are doing.

Last month I finished training with Debbie Ford’s The Ford Institute and have added Certified Integrative Coaching Professional to my toolbox. This year-long experience of in-person intensives and weekly training changed my life.

Now I want to help change yours!

Integrative Coaching is a way for you to be your own coach, with me as your guide. We look at your dreams, desires and goals and then examine the patterns in your life that have kept you from reaching them. You will learn to integrate back all of the aspects of yourself that you have denied, ignored or made wrong and learn to love the beautiful perfection that is you.

We were born into this world, perfect and whole. We cover up that perfection through layers of self-doubt, loathing, bitterness, feelings of helplessness and fears.

Let’s bust through all of that together so you can let your brilliant magnificence shine!

Are you ready for transformation?

Give yourself the gift of a lifetime and set up a free consultation with me today!

What’s Weighing You Down? Incompletions

Tags

, , , , ,

How many times have you started a project, goal or other plan of action to only find it buried in the attic unfinished or so much time passed that while you remember the decision and goal, you quickly dismiss it because you don’t have the time or space right now to complete it?

Incompletions in your life weigh you down and keep you stuck in the past. They steal your joy.

Some are unfinished art projects, a closet or garage we’ve been meaning to clean out, half-finished book sitting by our nightstand or Thank You’s to send.

Every time we pass that sidewalk we’ve been meaning to fix, we feel the pressure of one more thing not done. Each day we open a closet brimming full of unnecessary junk we are hit in the head with a reminder of the heavy, draining feeling of things left undone.

We begin to let it define us and use it to beat ourselves up day after day.

It is here we can use the brilliant light of awareness and decision to create the momentum we need for clearing up these incompletions and begin to feel mental space again, allowing self-love to flood back into our lives.

If you have more than five unfinished projects, ideas or dreams that are weighing you down, then it is time to lighten the load and break their chains.

1. Brainstorm a list of all of your incompletions. All of them. From the bill you’ve been meaning to pay, the sink you need to fix, story you’ve been meaning to read to your child or dreams of climbing Kilimanjaro. Name them, write them down and own them. This is not a small action and not meant to make you feel overwhelmed. Leaving all of these swirling around in your head will make you feel overwhelmed and uncertain. Acknowledging them and writing them down creates clarity and that becomes a powerful tool.

2. Decide which incompletion matters the most to you and circle it, star it or otherwise make it special. Remind yourself why this is important to you. Look at each item on your list and ask if it is relevent to your life today. That unfinished painting in the corner may feel like a failed attempt at finishing something, but maybe it is simply time to let it go. Maybe that was simply something you tried and it didn’t resonate with you. That is OK. If painting was your passion, you would create time for it in your life. Make a plan to finish the ones that are important.

3. Choose a small incompletion that you can do right now. If you are reading this blog, you have 10 minutes to quickly clean out your junk drawer. Just do it!

4. Go through the list, item by item, and ask yourself why each item needs to be completed. I bet there are items on the list that don’t need to be completed, they need to be donated. Donate the unfinished knitting to a Senior Center and make room for something new in your life. Or donate your to-do items to some well-abled kids. Offer to trade them your knowledge, listening ear or that bicycle in your garage you haven’t used in five years for their elbow grease. Maybe some incompletions can simply drop off the list. Are they “shoulds” that you’ve lugged around on your back for so long but can’t even remember why? Let them go and feel the freeing release.

5. Make a decision and plan to complete those that are still relevant to your life. Incompletions can leave you feeling stuck, overwhelmed and powerless. Deciding why you want to complete them and which ones are still relevant can be one step toward scraping a layer of heavy mental baggage off. You start to feel in control and get back a little pep in your step.

Feel free to share your incompletions in the comments below.

Completing incompletions-priceless!

What’s Weighing You Down? Should’s

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

How many times do you catch yourself saying the words, “I should.”

How do you feel after you’ve said it?

“I should eat better. I should exercise more. I should visit Grandpa. I should donate more time to community projects. I should, I should, I should …”

The word itself carries a weight that can leave you feeling defeated before you’ve even started whatever it is you feel you “should” do.

A wise woman once told me, “there are no should’s in life.”

This took me a minute to understand but when I removed the word from my life and replaced it with “I must, I want, I will, I choose…” I shifted the overwhelming weight of the “should’s” into powerful, forward moving action. It’s a seemingly small shift in perspective that can yield huge results.

Some of you may be tossing, turning and moaning with the thought, “but there are lot’s of things I should do, I just don’t want to.” Stop. Replace the “should” with “get to.”

“I should exercise today,”  doesn’t sound as powerful as “I choose to exercise today.”

“I should eat whole foods today,” sounds a whole lot more uncommitted than, “I will eat whole foods today.”

“I get to take the garbage out. I’ve got two arms, two legs and money to buy stuff that creates garbage that I get to take out.” Yes, you may even make yourself laugh or find yourself a deep sense of gratitude for the simple opportunities we have in life.

“I choose to treat myself with love and kindness today.”

Give it a try today. Find something you’ve been putting off doing and decide to change the weight you are allowing it to have in your life.

Words have power. Choose yours wisely.

Do you need to create a vision for your life and clear the path from past strongholds that have been keeping you stuck in repetitive cycles?  Then my Integrative Coaching program is a opportunitiy for you to fully transform the way you experience life. Check out Radiate Vitality and reserve your spot today! If you tell me you choose to remove the “shoulds” in your life, I’ll give you a 20% discount off of the 10 session price!

Fear

F.E.A.R.-Forget Everything And Run. That’s what fear does to us. I know it did me and still does at times. We forget everything and run. We run from the truth. We pretend we’re being realistic. We play safe. We don’t connect authentically. We stay small instead of illuminating and sharing the beauty of our spirit.

There are two types of fear.

The healthy fear is the one that drives you to teach your eighteen month old that the stove is hot or not to run in a parking lot.

Then there is the unhealthy fear. This is the kind that keeps you paralyzed from ever making a decision and stuck. The kind that keeps you worrying about something you have no control over. This kind can make you ill, miserable and keep you stuck in the middle of that ocean, never reaching shore. It’s those A.N.T.S (automatic negative thoughts) or that voice of D.E.N.I.A.L (don’t even notice I am lying) that keep you on the hamster wheel. These are all fear based behaviors.

We are often just one thought away from devastation or pure joy. I started life with the glass is half-full perspective. Then I married young and had my spirit verbally beat down almost every day. My choices became based in fear. I was the queen of worry. What if no one liked me? What if I wasn’t nice enough? What if I actually disagreed? What if the chicken actually crossed the road? What if X,Y and Z happen? I was “what-if-ing” myself almost to death. I was quietly living a fear-based life, stuck in a prison with bars I had cemented in myself. Fear controlled my choices.

Second, beautiful, healthy marriage later, I felt like because I wasn’t complaining like others were about their husbands I couldn’t be myself. I couldn’t freely bask in the joy of an amazing relationship. To feel the camaraderie of girlfriends I felt I needed to gripe like them. Most of the time I would listen and stay quiet. Once in a while I tried it. Not about my current husband because I had vowed to respect and honor that sacred relationship and honestly, there wasn’t anything to gripe about. So,  I found any energy vampire I could  gripe about/share. But as the words were coming out of my mouth a heaviness laid over me. It didn’t feel right. Again, I was making choices based in fear.

It’s when I finally gave up on needing to be liked and embraced my happiness that I learned to fully love myself and my glass is half-full attitude. Now I experience a mental freedom like no other! I stopped basing my choices in fear. Am I perfect? Not by a long shot. But emotionally I am light years away from where I was.

Changing my thinking saved my life. The ripple effect can radiate through generations. That is my purpose now. To help others embrace and integrate back every part of themselves so that we can elevate this amazing planet.

Bust yourself and ask which fear your choices are being made from -healthy fear or unhealthy fear. Ask yourself why and if the opportunity cost is worth it. What are you trading to stay stuck in your fears? What would it feel like to be free?