How have you been these last two weeks? Did you take time to monitor your thoughts? If you did, then you’ve probably seen patterns in your thinking. Those patterns show up in your life and draw towards you what you’re receiving in life.
Do you like what you are receiving?
Zig Ziglar once said, “People often complain about lack of time when the lack of direction is the real problem.”
I was one of those people who piled myself so high with commitments: giving, doing, being all I thought I should be because ultimately I thought I had to in order to be a “good person.” Most of my obligations I enjoyed and wanted to be a part of, however, I wasn’t being honest with myself about what I could do without ending up feeling overwhelmed and drained with little left to give myself and my family. I said they were my priority but my actions said otherwise.
I see it all to often, someone with good intentions wants to do what’s “right” and takes on way too much to maintain harmony in their life and they end up grumpy, exhausted, complaining and mad at their kids, husband, wife, and friends. They wonder why everyone doesn’t “get it.” They may even think others are lazy because those people seem to be enjoying life and have more time.
How does your schedule make you feel?
We all have times where we have more obligations in the day than we would like or life brings us unexpected opportunities that we take on. It’s when we hear ourselves complaining about our busy-ness day-in and day-out, that we know we are stuck in our victim story and time to take a good, honest look at what we can do about it.
Sometimes we fall into a trap of adding in more obligations to avoid dealing with something else in our life. We avoid what we hope to for a little while, but ultimately, it’s still there and we feel it. We think we can’t change anything and feel helpless. You are telling yourself a lie. You said yes in some form to what your schedule encompasses. You have more control that you’re admitting.
Take a good look at your schedule right now and ask yourself how it makes you feel.
___ Love it. I am living my dream life.
___ It’s not perfect, but I’m quite happy and see possibility in every moment.
___ It’s OK. I can’t wait for____ because then things will get better.
___ It sucks. I’ve got too much to do and not enough help.
___ How dare you even ask me such a question. Don’t you know I’m in charge of XYZ, which requires me to do _____ and be ______.
So, which one did you pick? Are you being honest with yourself? Did you start to justify your choice with reasons, justifications and excuses?
Your schedule and your commitments create your life. Your choices today create your tomorrows. What are you committed to? If you don’t want next year to feel like what you are feeling now you need to get clear on what you want and why. Think of it as C.S.I: YOU. You want more you time but you’ve just started graduate school or taken on another community service project, ask yourself why? What do you hope to receive. Is it adoration and love? More money? We choose to do things because of a feeling we want or a feeling we are trying to avoid. Which is it for you?
How do you want your life to feel?
1. Take 15 minutes to write out what you want more of in life. Is it more time? More connection with friends, a feeling of peace or vibrant health.
It’s your life and you need to name it to claim it. If you don’t name it, you won’t experience it and you’ll stay on the same cycle you’ve been in day after day, month after month, year after year.
2. Ask yourself what you are or are not doing that supports these desires you say you want. Make a list of everything you are doing and scrutinize it. One of the biggest gifts you can give to yourself is to be honest with yourself. Be ruthless. This goes beyond how much time you are spending on Facebook or watching TV. I chose to have four kids. When I got real with what that entailed, what I could actually do within that framework, what I needed, and how I wanted my life to feel, I was able to transform how I experienced life. When you are done making excuses for your big, bad self you will start to experience that exceptional life you say you want!
The point is to help you become aware. We need to illuminate how your choices have created your schedule and to start to take a look at why. Many times we are stuck in unconscious patterns that have been driving our decisions for decades. This is when a good mentor or guide can help.
3. While you’re looking at your how your schedule is weighing you down, take a peek at your surroundings right now. How do they make you feel? What do you wish was different and why? We’ll take a look at that next.
When you start to align your commitments with your BIG WHY (what you really want) you will find that doors open in places you once thought were shut. You begin to create the life you desire. Intention is good. Intention with intentional action is powerful!
Lisa’s Integrative Coaching Program starts in October, but you can contact her now to get on the wait list and receive a free one-hour coaching session at www.radiatevitality.com
What’s Weighing You Down?
The Right Questions
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